May 2008
Stevie Wonder - Higher Ground No reason in...
tuneage: Wilco - “Pot Kettle Black” What is...
Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics →
The YM hazing process isn’t easy. Don’t let them fool you: despite working strenuously to achieve the appearance of a leaky, chop-shopped oil tanker resting on its side in a sound full of infantile marine life, this m’fucka runs like the Red October, pinkos, steel, spitshine and all. (via youngmanhattanite)
FYMTQ: Jessica Gold Haralson →
Your fellow Tumblr, one Jessica Gold Haralson, has stepped up (down?) to the dias (bema?) as the first contestent on “The Pervy YM Survey Gong (dong?) Show.” Don’t worry, Jessica: with the exception of Dana, we’re all impotent. (via youngmanhattanite),
I Hate Doctors.
The assistant doctor or whatever came to see me. She took my temperature, took a throat swab, looked down my throat. “Well, that’s that. Your tonsils are pretty big.” Yeah - I fucking know. “We’re not going to get this swab back for a week. ‘Could be anything - mono, tonsillitis - but it’s probably just your basic infection. Doesn’t look like strep....
Nance M.D.
Me: Ow. My throat. Ow. It still feels like there is a vice around it/dick in it/someone strangling me.
Nance: Open up.
Me: Huh?
Nance: Your mouth. Open.
Me: Ahlllllgh.
Nance: I can't see anything. In the light. No. Put your tounge down.
Me: Ahlglg!
Nance: Ohmygod.
Me: ALGHHGH!
Nance: Your tonsils.
Me: Yeah?
Nance: They're taking up the entire back of your throat.
Me: Um, well. Yeah?
Nance: Go to the fucking doctor. Tomorrow. Please.
Chicago: The City of Big Everything* →
“There’s this joke: How do you get a Midwestern chick to blow you? Dip it in ranch.” Dana goes to the Pilcrow Lit Fest and comes back with that. (via youngmanhattanite)
CAA banned from Fox lot after Dan Aloni drops a... →
Oh, man. This is the kind of item I just fucking love.
“I thought it could only happen in hotspots like Las Vegas and, uh, Denver, but I...”
– Leah’s opener for this week’s Flavorpill (New York) mailer. She also included a great dropdown poll of where The Real World’ers should live. Choice among those options: “Dumpster on Bedford and Nostrand”, “Marcy Projects”, and the top votegetter:...
youngmanhattanite: Cumblr? [via] Classy, guys. Real nice. Yes folks, down at the YM Bed and Sausagefest, we’re all dick-cum-meme jokes (Pun intended! See?). Where’s Andrea Dworkin when you really need her?
NYT to New York Neophytes: Tough cookies, ain't... →
The New York Times takes a crack at understanding the economic subspecies widely known as “young and broke.” While I admire the supposedly frugal habits of the four or five creatures in question, I’ve got a strategy of my own: Spend Money For Two Weeks Be Fucking Broke For Two Weeks Repeat But surresly, at least they tried to differentiate between Investment Bankers, Those...
I’m fuckin’ dying here, Larry. No, but really: my one attempt to get out of the apartment this weekend (the Astoria Snausage Fest & Beer Garden) put me on my ass for the rest of the day thereafter. I feel like death and it’s probably the nicest day of the year so far. Ugh, fuck.
Wouldn't It Be Nice →
Surfing, Socialism, Jews.
1 tag
The Last Post I Will Ever Post On This Issue
Via The Black Table, three years prior (emphasizing mine): “THE BEARDS” BY JONATHAN LETHAM: Did anyone else read this long, deep gaze into the very fibers of Jonathan Lethem’s navel lint and wonder why on earth it was getting published in The New Yorker, much less in a forthcoming book? Dear Jonathan L: Next time you want to take a boring-ass...
I Was Told This Page Was Becoming Unreadable...
I always get paranoid when the Young Manhattanite backchannel (which one? Does it matter?) goes quiet. Now I know why: instinctual knowledge of shit, on a direct path, with increasing velocity towards a fan. We spoke of the European tendency to memorialize its culture, to the detriment of all things living, and of the American recognition that it is discrepancy and contradiction from which all...
Mack Sigis Porter - “Till The Fall”...
5 tags
The Spinto Band - “Oh, Mandy” Because...
ugh.
I spent the night at home - did nothing - and still feel like shit. Super.
Easy New Jersey Joke: #456
Planes taking off in the wrong direction. Why even try anymore?
Hey, Mets fans:
Fuck you. That’s for Torre.
youngmanhattanite: UPDATE: FEK submits his protest that something something didn’t have to have video something something.It’s going to be like this for a while. I wasn’t joking about the hazing.
OPENING NIGHT
So: The Girlfriend’s theatre company, The Garage Ensemble, opened up their show of short plays last night. It’s a good deal of fun - you should definitely get out and see it. They even have a Tumblr that you can follow. Huzzah. tge: Went swimmingly! Great turnout. The audience seemed to really enjoy it! No major F- ups. AND IT IS UP! I will give more details about the run when it...
Gridskipper: Relaunched →
Gridskipper got relaunched today. It’s fucking miserable. I’m actually kind of sad about it.
The Who's Who on the YM Columblr
Since I’ve been out of the loop because of work and all this other fucking nonsense - also, I haven’t been drinking since Tuesday, which might account for it - I’m trying to get straight who’s who on the Columblr. I’m not allowed on yet as I’m still being hazed, and in fulfilling my unofficial role as Whitebar to the Whitebar (which is kind of like being a...
TAKING THE HIGH ROAD, "EXPOSED" EDITION: You know...
It brings out the dickbag in all of us; literally. Everyone has some dickbag thing to say (me included) about this dickbag issue on some dickbag format in some dickbag way, be it commenters, casual readers, teachers, lawyers, stockbrokers, firefighters, etc. We all have better things to be doing. This entire thing is just totally dickbaggy. Dickbag, dickbag, dickbag. $25.
While rolling in a call (ugh) to an office today, the hold music was “Everyday Is Like Sunday.” My life is an existential fucking hell sometimes.
But Mainly For His Really Big Dick →
(via youngmanhattanite) $20.
As I sat there staring into the screen at the reflection of Henry standing behind me, I burst into tears. And then we were pacing, screaming at each other, through every room of our apartment, facing off with wild eyes and clenched jaws. Is that supposed to make me laugh out loud? That’s $15, but $5 well spent knowing my girlfriend and I have fights about things far more interesting than...
catbird: GG Allin - Cheri Love Affair I...
youngmanhattanite: This is some of the worst shit I’ve ever read. That’s $10.
From The Dept. Of Twittery
It feels like I have a goddamn vice wrapped around the inside of my throat. Allergies are shit, and shit is my face right now. I have ordered udon and am making tea because hot liquids are the only thing that enable me to talk or breathe properly and I am trying not to smoke because that doesn’t fucking help, either. I’m also too tired to write coherently so I’m watching Law...
“For those of you readers who are new to the whole Web 2.0 concept of self-driven...”
– The last line in Intelligencer’s post today, “Emily Gould Will Not Let Us Ignore Her Upcoming ‘Times Magazine’ Cover Story”. That quote should be expanded proceeding “themselves” with an “(and Emily Gould),” but in two weeks, all of this shit’s going...
(Via Gawker) Her: What do you write? Frey: I used to write screenplays now I write books. Her: Oh, what kind of books, fiction or non-fiction? Frey: (chuckles) Well, that’s been up for debate recently. Her: (absolutely no irony whatsoever) Well, don’t you think you should choose? Frey: (an arrogant laugh) To be honest with you, I don’t really give a shit. Superior. I...
“It is my belief that summer in the Hamptons is the epitome of everything that is...”
– Via The Cajun Boy, remarking last year on a certain kind of New Yorker’s summer habitat of choice. The time is near.
A Call To (Third) Arms →
(via youngmanhattanite) “…in this age of anti-discretion feminism, we must now ask all penises, far, wide, narrow and circumspect, to stand up, with virtue matching in scale, and embrace the dick inside. She sure did.”
Emily Gould Takes The Personal Blog To New York... →
ryanbrown: lamb: Does this mean that next, Josh Stein will rebut in the New Yorker? And then where? Unfortunately, this already began in Page Six Magazine… Is this then the “high road?” Whatever road it is, it’s all going to the same place.
If a major component of your job was dealing with...
blakeley: alexbalk: GOV. PATERSON IN HOSPITAL WITH MIGRAINE I’m surprised he didn’t see that coming… Is there no room for a “surprisingly, blinding headaches were not part of the prognosis” joke?
No Respec: Your Garlic Is My Ennui →
(via youngmanhattanite) Five spec loglines - only four are real. Spot the fake, win a prize: you don’t have to work in Hollywood.
Nothing Revelatory (Or "This Is What It Takes To...
From this: Many Jews—fifty per cent, in one estimate—carry a variant gene for alcohol dehydrogenase. Therefore, they, like the East Asians, have a low tolerance for alcohol.No shit. Obviously more to come.
“sometimes i think that web 2.0 types are as quick to adopt the...”
– Maura Johnston, on that last YM post. Hey, Tumblr/Wired/Nu-Tech Hipsters: you listening?
Krucoff Says No One Reads the Left Side of the... →
(via youngmanhattanite) Christ, I hope not. Then again, if I’m responsible for a drop in Left Side Readership, that might help cement my place in the YM canon even further. You never know with them. It’s a learning process, always.
“Funny, I had brunch with (David) Chang over the weekend and he said they would...”
– An Eater commenter, regarding unconfirmed Momofuku Ko rumors. People may knock the Wu Chang Culinary Clan, but a guy who puts his reservations singularly in the hands of people who know how to use the internet: solid in my book. Related - I had the Bahn Mi at Ssam for the first time this weekend. At...
After the Show Is the Afterparty →
(via youngmanhattanite) My antics are nothing compared to those which I have to live up to: 99 pissed in a bathtub at a post-conference party in Tribeca.
Weekend Escape Plan: Baltimore →
To say expat Rachel Doyle and I have a bit of a storied history involving sordid employment, writing gigs, ties with friends and the sort would be to..accurately describe our relationship. It’s the stuff neophyte New York media internet nonsense bullshit stories are made of - I am the Dale Peck to her Rick Moody (if you haven’t cringed this morning: there you go). Anyway: she just...
This Is Not The Place: A Evening Out With YM →
(via youngmanhattanite) On the internet, the people are represented by several separate yet inequally important groups: among them are the Tumblrs who instigate meetups, and the Young Manhattanites who attempt to crash them. These are their stories.