The joys of the High Holiday season
- Parents: Are you coming home for the holidays this year? You haven't been since 2000.
- Me: Nope. And I haven't stepped foot in a synagogue since then either.
- Parents: It won't be religious at all, just a family dinner and participating in our cultural tradition.
- Me: If I wanted to participate in a silly, superstitious fantasy world masquerading as a culture while eating, I'd just get stoned and watch a Harry Potter movie and munch on chips.
- Parents: Come on, you know we're not religious, we just do it because of the tradition.
- Me: Perverting tradition and cultural heritage is part of the Israeli government's narrative justifying the oppression and occupation of Palestine for the past 60 years, and the best thing a younger generation can do to "honor" a tradition is end it.
- Parents: WE JUST WANT TO HAVE DINNER WITH YOU.
- Me: Then you should totally come down to Brooklyn, there's a great new ramen place with the most delicious pork broth.
