Fuck Joe Clark and the Submission He Rode In On →
Seriously.
Good writing gets around quickly. It gets people excited. And you don’t have to beg people to read it or try and out them to make some kind of point.
Anybody who’s worked in book publishing or at any kind of agency, house, or firm that handles literary properties knows what a pain in the ass unsolicited submissions are. Almost nothing ever comes of them.
- Most of them are by people who have been “working on their novel” for fifteen years.
- All of them are fucking awful.
- Almost always, as a matter of courtesy, even agencies and houses who absolutely don’t accept unsolicited submissions will write a form letter back. And by “agencies and houses” I mean “overworked assistants.”
Joe Clark should be the last straw. Agencies and publishing houses across the board should institute a draconian policy for this kind of assholery: nobody, anywhere will accept unsolicited submissions, and together, nobody, anywhere will ever respond to an unsolicited submission ever again.
Anybody so presumptuous as to think that any editor owes them anything for something sent to them without solicitation should be ceremoniously beaten unconscious with the manuscript they sent in, this motherfucker especially. You want a courtesy? Someone might publish your book and pay you for it. That’s a courtesy. Otherwise, the publishing industry doesn’t give a shit about you and your list, Joe Clark, other than as a shining example of the kind of person who will never get anything published, and maybe, also, for the amusement of seeing who sucks enough to dignify your cantankerous bullshit.
